Sigh.
Ok let me clarify on this, I would like to explain that I believe all drivers are terrible drivers. Yes, even you are a terrible driver. And I am also a terrible driver. BUT.... there is a line. I have a theory, that we are all varying degrees of awful drivers, but some drivers should not be driving at all.
We're talking the cream of the crop.
This is what this post is about.
The people who would drive away without unhooking the gas pump.
This is about the drivers that could be replaced by giant albino squirrels
and you wouldn't even be able to tell the difference.
(Bet you didn't think I had a picture for that, didja?)
:o)
Confession: I loathe horrible, rude, despicable drivers.
This seething hatred began stewing back in late 2005.
It was a situation similar to this:
It was cold, winter, snowy, and I was 8+ months pregnant with my first child.
I ran to Target on my lunch break from work, to grab something, and I had to be fast.
Upon emerging from said Target, I discovered that someone had parked so close to
either side of my car that there was no hope of me crawling inside.
I was furious.
My giant belly was going to prevent me from getting in the car anyways,
but now there were only 3 or so inches of space on either side.
They were in my spot!
I totally did not understand how someone could be so rude.
I marched back inside the Target, steaming, and asked the security person if they
could help me find a way to make an announcement or something,
so that I could get back to work! And that they could move their car.
Regrettably, the security person informed me that they would do no such thing.
What?!
Fine.
So I waited.
And waited.
Ages later, a little old asian man emerged - probably pushing 90, but in bad condition.
I stood behind him, staring at him, as he sloooooooowly put his groceries away.
(In hind sight, if I had been more Christlike, I should probably
have helped him put his groceries in his car?)
(Whatever! Move your oldsmobile!)
He looked at me, finally, as he walked to his drivers side, and -
glared at me. Yes! Glared!
Then looked at my car, and the space I had, and smirked.
What?? Where is your heart?
He sat in his car for ten minutes.
Doing nothing. But occasionally checking to see if I was still standing in the cold.
Anyways I will get off my complainer's box, and tell you that the long story
short of it is that eventually he moved his car and I went back to work.
But this certainly helps me segway into my second opinion.... :o)
(The first being that SO many people need to learn how to park.)
SOME older civilians should NOT be allowed on the road!!!!
My ex-grandfather-in-law would actually scrape the side of his house occasionally
while pulling into his driveway. He drives on the other side of the road sometimes.
He swerves. There is a long list here!
And yet - when he went to get his license renewed, they approved him!
WHY?
Who knows.
Old people. Bad idea.
"Which one is the brake again?" is not a moment I want anyone to be having.
I also have a problem with those giant, oblivious SUV drivers (or other large vehicle)
- who cut you off, pull out of a driveway without looking at oncoming traffic... etc.
Oblivious drivers are the worst!
"Nobody else is on the road. OOO look! A penny!"
*SWERVE*
- or -
*IMMEDIATE LANE CHANGE WITH NO SIGNAL*
Seriously people. Just... just look, before you plow over a pedestrian, or my car,
as I'm driving on the road and you are pulling out of Meijer.
O.o
You KNOW that has happened to you in front of Meijer! RIGHT?!
Yeah.
Or how about the multi-tasking people. Not to pick on moms, or women,
but we naturally take on more than we should anyways, right?
(So why should the car be any different?)
We have a consistent rule in my car that nobody bothers the driver.
Occasionally, I get questions from the back seat:
"Mom - can you open this for me please?"
"Mom! Can you get (blah blah) toy for me please?"
"I dropped it!! Mom!!"
To which my response is always along these lines:
"Would you like me to help you, and we could get in
an accident over your toy, or can you be patient?"
To which their response is always:
"...I'll wait."
SERIOUSLY! People.
Put it down. Just... do it when you get there.
I'm glad there are laws now against texting - that's irritating.
Above all, the most irritating is when people are texting at a red light,
and then when it turns green they are still not budging.
Nevermind that when they do it while they are driving they are a
billion times more likely to run a red light, or blow over a peddy.
(Yes. Those are actual statistics.)
(Caption: "AHHHHHHHHH!!!")
Something else that bothers me about multi-tasking drivers is that
I just... don't understand why you would put your passengers at risk,
or yourself, or what's in the car at the time.
OOOOooo...!
Another thing that really gets me face-palming my head mid-traffic...
getting cut off by someone who doesn't know how to merge,
doesn't know how to change lanes, doesn't know where they are going, etc.
Google Maps! DMV! Pay attention!
Sheesh.
I guess you could lump them in with the oblivious
"there-is-nobody-else-on-the-road" types as well.
GRR!
Sigh.
Ok so let me power through the rest of this post.
Some people are so stupid.
Alright - I'm going to admit that Once Upon A Time...
I had some road rage.
But now? None. Why? That is personal, relating to the passenger that was usually
in the car. But on my own, or with my kids, or any body else on the planet in
the car with me... my road rage is zippity-nil-no.
It is annoooooooying when - for instance - when I'm delivering a cake, so
I have to drive the speed limit or just above
<insert dramatic gasp>
And I look in the mirror and there is some business suit bdub guy swerving
to the left and right, talking angrily to himself, and waving his hands like an idiot,
like he is going to fly over me with the hot air he is producing.
Road rage. What a waste of energy!
I have another theory. This applies to many things.
If I can't control it, and I'm not going to do anything about it, or if I can't do anything
about it, I am NOT going to let it bother me, or complain about it, or worry about it.
Because it is a WASTE of my energy.
Waste!
So seriously guy.
You can't drive my car, or calm my screaming baby, or help me drive any faster
that the old lady in front of me, or teach my teenager how to signal better,
or whatever, so pull the stick out of your whatever and take a chill pill.
The BEST case of road rage I have ever experienced involved my husband,
less than a month ago.
(I'm going to put him on the spot because it just made my day, my week, my year.)
:o)
We were driving home after the kids and I had picked David up from work,
and we were stuck in rush hour traffic. In front of us, someone was braking enough
to leave two car lengths of space ahead of them.
We all are barely moving. I casually go around.
Said guy behind us - or to the right of us? - or where ever he was - becomes furious.
...I have a reflex to be scared of furious crazy men,
(Pff who knows where that came from, right?)
(Sheesh.)
So I look over at my husband, David, and I say something about how
that guy is super angry about nothing.
I probably look worried.
The guy pulled his car up to the right of our car, and paced us in traffic, rolling down
his window and yelling at our car - all of us, inside, but we can't really hear him.
David makes my day - he puts his fingers in his mouth and makes a face at him,
blew a giant raspberry on the window, (or some such response), totally
breaking the tension in our car. It made the crazy angry driver guy more furious,
but also weirded him out.
Success all around.
I couldn't help but laugh so hard I cried.
The guy was so angry, and we were just ...laughing!
Terrible? Maybe.
But maybe someone spit in his cheerios.
And last... but definitely not least.
My biggest hatred.
Tail-gaters.
Don't you understand??? -
In fact, once upon a time, when I was working in Lombard - and my oldest
was a baby (I know! Hate me now.) I was on my way home, on I-88, taking my exit,
and I was being tail-gated by a semi truck.
I SLOOOOOWED down. Way down. And I rolled down my window.
The semi inched closer to me, and honked.
I threw the whole bouquet out the window at him.
(Ok, if you know what this is, then you had the same fabulous YW leader as I did. ☺)
(If you do not know, I will explain that once upon a time, I listened to my YW leader explain how when someone angers her on the road, why should she give them one finger, when she could give them the 'whole bouquet'? I have since always applied such wisdom ☺)
(It is the holding up of all your fingers. Like you are cupping your hand, but sticking your fingers up.)
Anyways.
Why tailgate? It's not going to make me go any faster, but it is going to make me want to
get out of my car at this red light and tell you what I think of you endangering me and
my children on the highway!
Once, my employer told me that when he gets into those situations, he advises me:
"Keep a bat in your trunk or something. Always make them think you're a little crazy."
The visual from his story, of him swinging his bat around talking to these people was hilarious.
Maybe you had to be there.
---
Sigh!
Over all, if we could just pay attention while we are driving, that would be greeeaaat.
Pay attention, be courteous.
Be safe.
Now let's all go skip in a circle of ridiculous happiness and talk about butterflies.
